Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by CJ Mahaney
That simple phrase is what all of us men need to hear: "Before you touch her body, touch her heart and mind." Cursorily using Song of Solomon as an illustration of true biblical covenant love, C.J. Mahaney has written one of the most useful books that I have ever read.This book is written for men. Men need to step up and lead in romancing the marriage. Therefore Mahaney asks that men don't read this book with their wives. Great intimacy, including sex is something that every marriage should be full of. If that is missing, it is primarily the husband's issue that he needs to fix. Then in chapter 2 he moves on to give the biblical God-given purpose for marriage from Ephesians 5: "A profound mystery, revealed to all to see."
My favorite chapters then follow (3-6) in which Mahaney lets the readers draw from his life experiences, his successes and his failures, to help us with romancing our wives, touching their hearts and minds so that then touching their bodies is so much more intimate, frequent, and amazing. These chapters have been so useful to me. I'm not going to ruin it for you by giving you any of the advice here. But let me tell you that just taking advantage of the advice that he gives and the motivation that comes knowing that greater intimacy better glorifies God has already had a very noticeable impact in the two weeks since I finished my first reading of the book...so much so that my wife has told me whatever I read has changed me for the better.
Finally he ends in chapter 7 with a mild exposition of Song of Solomon 8:5-7, "Strong as Death, The Enduring Power of Covenant Love." Marital love goes beyond just sex, but sex is truly only as amazing as God designed it to be in the context of marriage. Marital love is forever, it isn't dependent on sexual ability; it isn't dependent on perfection; it isn't dependent on emotions. Marital love comes for God and is a reflection of God's love for the church.
Carolyn Mahaney, C.J.'s wife wrote the an appendix, "A Word to Wives" which I haven't read but have been told by my wife is very good. I too have noticed a difference in her since she has read that chapter and the book from which it comes "Feminine Appeal."
I strongly recommend you read this book. I am in the middle of reading it a second time and plan on reading it and putting to action its suggestions until the day I die.
shonema http://www.shonema.com/